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Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Game 10 - Ghosts'N Goblins

Platform: Nintendo Entertainment System (NES)
Publisher: Capcom
Release Date: 1986 (home consoles); 1985 (Arcade)
Genre: Platform (side-scroller)

For Starters:

Shit biscuits! This game is a mother-fucker! While this is one of the classic games found on the NES, it is also one of the most frustrating games ever created. Addictive, and challenging, Ghosts'n Goblins will keep you coming back for more, until you either suffer a mental breakdown, or break your Nintendo system by throwing it out an open window.

I first played this game in the arcade at the mall, and immediately fell in love with the music, and the graphics. Unfortunately, the game always managed to feed me Alcatraz Sandwiches, and I could never get past the first fucking stage. When I finally found it on the NES, I thought...maybe if I owned it, I could actually spend the time, and finally beat that damned first stage. Holy shit was I ever wrong, and here it is over 20 years later, and I still struggle to get through that initial fucking stage.

Why is this game so difficult? This game throws a steady stream of enemies at you, from both directions, some of them shooting fireballs. Then, they give you impossible jumps, some of them involving moving platforms. This game will break your balls, and like a sucker, you will come back for more.

The Good:

There are enough good things about Ghosts'n Goblins to keep you coming back for more, time and time again. The music, the graphics, the pure adrenaline associated with this game is enough to bring you back. Most of all, is the idea that keeps growing in the back of your brain, that maybe, just maybe you will
advance to the next level. And to be honest, the more you play, the further you get, even if it's just a fraction of a screen further. This game taunts you. It teases you. It shows you something that looks so easy, yet you will continue to die, and you will find yourself screaming in determination to beat that one single part of the game. I guess that's the biggest draw this game has, outside of the music, is the addictive challenge that this game forces upon your fragile little psyche.

The Bad:

Do I really need to list the bad qualities of this game? Haven't I already illustrated the sheer hell this game will put you through? Challenging jumps, swarms of monsters, and the possibility of permanent damage to your
Dick-head takes girl...go get her Arthur.
console, and/or home as a result of the fits of rage this game will induce? Well, you sadistic little sap, here are a few more to help quench that thirst that now grows inside you. You sick puppy.

This game does allow you 2 hits before death. The first hit knocks you out of your armor, and allows you to continue fighting in your red undies.  The second blow will cause you to turn in to a pile of bones. Bones = death.
From frog to death...

If these traits are not bad enough, the game itself makes you beat it twice in order to complete it. That's right. You have to play through this thing TWICE in order to beat the game. UGH! Once is difficult enough.


Yes Ghosts'n Goblins is difficult, and frustrating, but it has managed to remain  one that I continue to play over and over again. It does enough right to make this one a classic. If you play this one, be warned, it will cause fits, and will frustrate the hell out of you. But, you will find yourself playing this one again and again. Enjoy!